Okay so its been a while

TO: all my avid readers

Hey sorry its been a while. Lifes been crazy...

So as far as the unemployement stuff is concerned I qualified for aid from the state until I get a job. I think I might have found one at CDS (continuing Developemental Services) (another group home). Everyone if your believe in a higher power please pray for me...

Eliz and I are getting really close lately. We've been busy painting her room eggplant and lilac. IT TURNED OUT GREAT! She even invited me to go clubing with her. That got a little outa hand, but whats new my life is definantly insane. (I swear to god if I wrote a book about my life no one would think its real cuz its so crazy). I went to a bunch of clubs with her and her clubing friends. It was alot of fun! We were at Liquir Room and I was getting tired of dancing so I went to get a drink and I was sitting at a table and I was approached by two men that were into me... Things with really got outa control with one of them... He was not being a gentlemen to me at all. He kept touching me and making me uncomfortable, but dont you worry I made the right decision and I went to Elizabeth. I didnt want to ruin it for her so I didnt say the words I want to leave, but then one of the guys followed me and was asking me to go over to him Eliz saw I was very scared. She then left with me, shes a good friend. Then for the next few nights I barely slept cuz I couldnt stop thinking of what could have happened if I didnt walk away when I did. Would I go back of course, Will I ever walk away from Elizabeth again? NEVER!


I have had so much to think about... I have been so stressed. I was missing my friends from L&T and I just felt like I was a mess. So today I made the dicision to go to Lord and Taylor to see people today (when dani and I went to go eat at Champs). I saw my friend Jenn there which made me feel so much better. jenn is way older than me and she took to me like a big sister at LandT... For the past 3 months I just wanted my job back in Ladies Shoes because the people there were amazing. And I used to pray that Nina or Frank would call me to offer me another possition agian. Things really got that rough for me at the group home that I was at that I just prayed for a phone call. But of course my prayers dont get answered. SO Ive been on this verge of a serious mental breakdown and I talked to my friend Jaime (her mother recently passed away) and she said even with her mother passing away she would think about how theres so many other people with such worse lives that she would never trade or wish for another life. Hearing that from her made me think she just lost her mom so suddenly and I am the one having a mental break down over losing a job and missing people. Well lets just say I felt like the biggest piece of shit. And she thinks of all the people addicted to something in jail that we know, and suddenly life isnt so bad for her. So I gave it a whirl and I thought about a girl i went to HS with that is now quadropoligic from driving drunk and i felt so much better about mylife.

IF YOU DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM THIS MESSAGE WHEN YOU WALK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER PLEASE TRY TO REMEMBER I THOUGHT I LOST MYSELF FOR A BIT BUT REALLY I AM JUST FINE :)